If you've stumbled your way to this website, you probably feel the twin flame calling in your heart. I don't feel like it matters so much who I am… I'm just another soul who feels that calling in my heart too.
Since I was little I have felt an ache in my soul for a love that is so much greater than anything I've ever seen in this world. As I watched human relationship stories play out around me my whole life, I felt as if there was something wrong with me because of how I felt about what I saw other people calling “love”. It started as insecurity and discomfort because I could just never get myself to feel like I could ever fit into those stories. But then it grew into a deep sadness within me because I started to realize that nothing I witnessed was even close to what I dream of when dream of love. The relationships people clearly recognize as unhealthy contain so much of things like deliberately inflicted pain and confusion, dishonesty, infidelity, disrespect, manipulation, carelessness, abandonment, violence, abuse, and outright cruelty. But even the relationships that most people consider to be the “good” relationships are filled with things like codependency, complacency, control, resentment, taking each other for granted, “accepted” forms of disrespect, “accepted” forms of being unfaithful, compromise, struggle, lack of magic and passion, and the soul killing loss of the individual sense of self. Yet despite all of these negative energies… this is stuff that humans call “love”.
To my soul, none of it feels like love. It's clearly confusing when people choose relationships that most everyone recognizes as unhealthy, the “good” relationships are even more heartbreaking to me in a way. They are still filled with so much pain, struggle, disappointment, limitation, and most people in them aren't actually, genuinely, deep within their soul, happy, but somewhere within the human journey, it was decided that this is how love is experienced. People always say things like “love is hard”, “relationships are work”, and when they do I always think to myself… why? Why do people believe they have to spend their lives in something they have to “endure”, or “make work”? I believe love is meant to be the most infinitely amazing, incredible, beautiful, and magical thing in the universe… so why does everyone settle for so much less?
These kinds of thoughts and questions have stirred inside of me my entire life, and I've slowly started to realize that what is “wrong” with me, is what's been so perfectly right in me all along. It's a dream of love that was put inside of my heart for a reason, and more and more it's become clear to me that this dream of love is part of my soul purpose. I can't ignore it, and I can't settle for anything less. The desire for it has become so strong that it has weaved into every layer of my life, and become one with the journey to my own inner truth.
I've been through so much darkness and fear on this journey, and along the way i've wandered through alot of twin flame information seeking guidance to help me understand things I am experiencing. While I've found breadcrumbs that speak to me, and even things that were huge awakenings for me, much of the way twin flames are explained still doesn't bring peace to my heart. Alot of it still describes relationships that are heavy, dark, dysfunctional, codependent, unbalanced, and often incredibly energetically unhealthy and emotionally abusive. I started to feel like it's just the same dynamics of lower energy relationships heightened in intensity with spiritual ideas. While I do feel that this kind of information describes the kinds of things that twins go through in separation, I believe that these things are all only layers of illusions and creations of fear that play out when they haven't yet stepped into the truth of themselves, or into the truth of their love for each other. And while it was temporarily comforting to find something that helped explain the complications and struggles of separation, focusing on all that pain and fear started to make me feel stuck in the separation, stuck in karmic patterns, confused about who I am, hopeless about the connection to my twin soul, and in moments made me question if twin flame love is even real. I figured if I feel this way, there may be someone else out there who does too. Someone else who is looking for an idea of twin flames that rises above all that darkness and complicated energy, and gives us a way to tune our hearts into the beautiful love we dream of.
I believe in love that completely leaves our painful illusions behind, and creates something new and amazing that is far beyond what we've ever known. A love that is everything we dream of and nothing we fear. A love that is true, pure, and without limitation or darkness. I felt inspired to create somewhere to share these kinds of things that I feel in my heart in case it gives even one soul out there comfort. So this place is a letter of hope to my own heart just as much as it is to yours, and my wish is that the energy shared here helps us truly learn to trust our hearts.
